And ya can’t beat that with a bat. Well, here’s a few more from the states that try.

…And purely because it’s Ghost.

Our original plan was to list out the top sixty records, showcasing a few entries here and there that one of us felt needed special consideration. Rather than go through this task I’ve decided to list only our top twenty, with brief (occasionally ridiculous) write-ups for each one. It’s a list I’m really proud of, as I’m sure the rest of our staff is as well. Here are some standouts from selections 60-21:

Destroyer Bay of Pigs
Jay Reatard Watch Me Fall
Nite Jewel Good Evening
Eugene McGuiness S/T
Talk Normal Sugarland
Real Estate S/T
HEALTH Get Color
Memory Tapes Seek Magic
Yo La Tengo Popular Songs
Rick Ross Deeper Than Rap
Polvo In Prism
Drake So Far Gone (Mixtape)
Jarvis Cocker Further Complications
Fool’s Gold S/T
St. Vincent Actor

With all of that talent left out who made the top twenty, you ask? Find out, after the jump.

20 Memory Cassette Call & Response EP
This was fun! I don’t have a whole lot else to say about it!

19 The xx xx
A James Bond-esque intro (think Pierce Brosnan, not Sean Connery) followed by an adorable male/female duet? If the record took a nosedive from there I’d still remember it fondly, but luckily it continues to propel forward through nine more tracks of gorgeous melody and beautifully minimal orchestration.

18 The Very Best Warm Heart of Africa
Oh, go on then. Beyond the fact that the title track is one of the best of the year The Very Best have proven with this quintessential afrobeat party record they might be just what the name advertises (except… you know, not really, because they’re only number eighteen on the list. Still, this shit was pretty awesome.)

17 Sunset Rubdown Dragonslayer
Oh, Spencer Krug! You delightful man, you. If you’re not impressing us with Wolf Parade records you’re wowing us with this incredibly epic recording fit more for a Broadway audience than a couple hundred drunk hipsters. His voice is commanding, the music is intense, and there isn’t really a weak track in the bunch.

16 Dinosaur Jr. Farm
Hey, this band is still really good, huh? How about that.

15 The Pains of Being Pure At Heart S/T & Higher Than the Stars
We had to lump these two together just because it would be unfair to take two spots out of the top twenty on these guys. The Pains of Being Pure at Heart put the “pop” squarely in “indie pop”, churning out track after track of the catchiest tunes of the year. Also, my version of Higher Then the Stars came with remixes? Did everyone’s? I hope so! They’re very good!*

*Some of my finest reviewing!

14 jj jj n° 2
The greatest sample team in the history of indie rock! Also, they’re from Sweden! Also, they made the worst Lil Wayne song I’ve ever heard into something kind of cool!

13 Flaming Lips Embryonic
One of the most highly anticipated albums in years did not fail to disappoint, as Wayne Coyne and co. put out arguably their best record yet. Seeing this band live is like watching a group of people rummage through an A/V closet; wires, pedals and synths litter the stage as the Lips navigate through their set with such breathtaking precision. On Embryonic the band uses everything at their disposal to meld together a masterpiece in tonality.

12 Girls Album
Oh, the buzz. With all the words used to describe Girls’ freshman release you’d think each of the members had personally gone to every internet critic’s home and given them a handjob and/or fingerbang to grease the wheels. What’s shocking is that every kind thing that has been said about this band is spot on: positive comparisons to Elvis Costello and the Beach Boys are on the mark, and the subtle complexities of songs like “Hellhole Ratrace” help drive the album to crescendo. Even if I didn’t get the handjob I’d sing this band’s praises.

11 Bibio Ambivalence Avenue
Personally, I think it sounds like a bunch of interludes thrown together back to back on one recording, but you can’t argue with results: three fifths of the AVERSE staff put this puppy on their list as one of the best records of the year. Can we get a Thom Siblo justification in the comments section, please?

10 Think About Life Family
I didn’t vote for it, but I kind of love this album for the artwork alone. Never let it be said that Paul DeBenedetto won’t toe the company line!

9 Fuck Buttons Tarot Sport
I wrote about this here.

8 Bear In Heaven Beast Rest Forth Mouth
The little record that could! We started working on this list before Beast Rest Forth Mouth even came out, so it was no surprise tat it was left off everyone’s initial list. I’m proud to take the credit for shoving it down everyone else’s throats, though I’m sure it would have only been a matter of time before the rest of the AVERSE lads caught on. I’m hesitant to write much of a review since the album  doesn’t have any one “sound” to tie itself down to, suffice to say that it really is quite excellent. Thom Siblo wrote about one of its standout tracks here, which is readily available for download, along with a shit-ton of other songs, here.

7 Dirty Projectors Bitte Orca
Rather than get into how good this album is you should just go here and download Thom’s top sixty songs, then listen to “Knotty Pine” featuring David Byrne. Then proceed to download everything else by the band.

6 Raekwon Only Built 4 Cuban Linx… Part II
In a year where Jay-Z, Mos Def, and the Clipse all released albums it took Raekwon eclipsed them all creating not only the best hip-hop record of 2009 but one of the most dense, poignant rap records in years. Sure, it only took roughly half a decade to finish but if I told you that in five years time you’d hear tracks featuring all nine founding members of the Wu-Tang Clan, Cappadonna, Jadakiss, Slick Rick, Busta Rhymes, and production by RZA, J Dilla, Dr. Dre, Pete Rock, Marley Marl and Erick Sermon you’d probably stand the wait.

5 Japandroids Post-Nothing
Rounding out the top five is Japandroids, who managed to release an album that satisfied both the jaded hipster types and ex-emo kids looking for a new Cap’n Jazz LP. The brevity of the record works for them, capturing the intensity of the band while providing a certain instantly relistenable quality. And it’s surprising that all of this noise and emotion is coming from just two guys without being as inaccessible as, say, Lightning Bolt or Hella. But the real genius here is the ability by the band to not take themselves too seriously: on the standout track “Wet Hair” the band opines “let’s get to France so we can French kiss some French girls.” Indeed, gentlemen. Indeed.

4 YACHT See Mystery Lights
I was enamored by YACHT after hearing their song “The Afterlife” at a party, and it wasn’t long until I had a copy of See Mystery Lights in my hands and ready to pop into the computer. There’s such diversity in this duo that at times it’s hard to believe that the same band who produced the irreverent “We Have All We Ever Wanted” could come up with something as charming and delightful as “Psychic City.” Whatever your expectations are for YACHT prepare to have them met and surpassed.

3 Future of the Left Travels With Myself and Another
Sometimes I look at our list, and I listen to this album, and it bothers me that there were two albums better than Travels in 2009. It doesn’t really make sense. Ex-members of mcclusky play loud, aggressive, rock n’ roll while shouting in your face and writing songs with ridiculous titles likes “Stand By Your Manatee.” If there’s any part of that last sentence you don’t like you’re probably reading the wrong website.

2 Phoenix Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix
Okay, look– a lot of time has passed. I get it, it’s embarrassing. I hate hearing “1901″ played in the background of that Cadillac commercial, too, because invariably I have to be the one who says “you know, guys, this song is actually really good and, hey, you should check out the album maybe why not?” This is usually followed by a round of laughter, embarrassment, and shouts of “go back to watching MTV!” from my cohorts but quite simply everyone at AVERSE thought this record was nearly flawless. It’s eight tracks of pop perfection, along with two tracks of buildup and suspense that culminate into a Beatles-esque acoustic break. It took me a little while to admit but I couldn’t hold it in forever: Hi, my name is Paul, and I am a Phoenix fan.

1 Animal Collective Merriweather Post Pavilion
It’s a little silly over a year after the album came out to wax philosophical on the greatness of Merriweather Post Pavilion. I’m not changing anyone’s mind who has already heard it, and if you haven’t heard it yet you probably never will. I’m not going to say anything new or interesting that one of a billion other websites who loved the record aren’t going to say. I certainly wasn’t going to pull a shocker-except-not-really and leave it off the list entirely, like some foolish lists have done (we already took that stance on the horribly overrated Grizzly Bear.)

What I will say about Merriweather Post Pavilion is that it made me a believer. Not that I wasn’t an Animal Collective fan before, mind you. I own a good amount of their catalogue, and certainly all of their full-lengths. I’d go as far to say that, for better or worse, they’re more consistent than any other band going today. But it’s the hype, you see. When you have the incredible hype thrust upon you that a band like Animal Collective does it’s nearly impossible to live up to it. How could you? If you hear someone praised as the next Michael Jordan even Kobe Bryant won’t satisfy your expectations. And so what Merriweather Post Pavilion did was the impossible: exceed expectations. No matter what you thought you were going to get as a follow-up to 2007′s Strawberry Jam your expectation were not only met but surpassed. Simply stated, Merriweather Post Pavilion is like a checkpoint in modern music: now that we’ve heard it, there’s no turning back.

It’s a common mistake to assume it would be easier to write about songs you like the most.  In some ways it is- enthusiasm, whether positive or negative, can definitely push a writer through a dry spot of creativity (whatever THAT means).  But in the case at hand , I had so much to say about certain songs (“Brother Sport,” “In the Flowers,” “Bicycle” and “House of Flying Daggers”) it was daunting to condense it into the “come for/stay for” format.  In other cases, I felt it would be dangerous to overanalyze songs such as “Wet Hair” or “Are You Still in Vallda?” and I kept things short and sweet.

If I had to assess the year in music I would take the time to bemoan the lack of awesome hip hop LPs: of the three hip hop songs in the top 20 only Raekwon’s was released in 2009 (Clipse’s album wasn’t released until mid-December).  Jay-z and Kid Cudi put out complete trash this past year and I’ve yet to hear the Drake or Mos Def albums (the former due to weak singles and the latter due to his atrocious appearances on Bill Maher’s television program).  The Cool Kids never wound up putting out their debut album (after a meh mixtape, “Gone Fishin’”) and even Yeezy and Jeezy didn’t give me a solid summer jam.

Overall, I liked what I heard in 2009.  Between Japandroids, Fucked up, Mean Jeans, Future of the Left, The Thermals, Titus Andronicus and DC Snipers, modern punk rock is better than it’s been for a very long time while Memory Tapes/Cassettes, Washed Out and jj have all impressed me with their gorgeous, amorphous and hazy pop.

I’m thrilled to be done with 2009 and am already wrist deep in some 2010 releases that will be covered on Averse in the near future.  Albums from Vampire Weekend and Beach House have been predictably impressive, Yeasayer’s new album is a welcome departure from their debut and I cannot wait to see what the world thinks of Titus Andronicus’ opus, The Monitor.  I’m still trying to sift through the minstrel-infused Midlake album and Four Tet’s latest ode to background mood music, There is Love in You.

As a special gift to Averse readers we’d like to present most of the Top 60 Songs of 2009 as a compressed downloads so you can spend the first chunk of 2010 catching up with everything you missed (after the post).

Previously:
60-41
40-21

20) Big Boi (featuring Gucci Mane) – “Shine Blockas” (from Sir Luscious Left Foot: The Son of Chico Dusty)

Come for: The third (!?!) single from Big Boi’s debut LP which still doesn’t have a release date. Mmmmmm hip hop release date mishaps.

Stay for: The best soul sampling Outkast affiliated track since their tremendous 2007 single with UGK, “International Players Anthem.” I would still put that song in my top 5 if they re-released it this (or any) year.

19) Volcano Choir – “Island, IS” (from Unmap)

Come for: The most emotionally taut song of 2009… that contains almost nothing but non-sequitors: “Come and serve it with an omelette/and you’re on it/with the carpet/you solved it/said you’re corporate/set your orbit/set your coffin/said it’s often/that your old fits/are your old tits/on your hard drive.”

Stay for: The sonic flourishes that come oh-so-close to overwhelming the song but stops short of feeling cluttered: the bubbling keyboard, the sound of pages being turned and someone knocking wood percussively (and literally).

18) jj – “Are You Still In Vallda” (from nn 2) (Download the Legobeat Oceans Remix)

Come for: A mysterious, melancholic, travelogue accented acoustic pop song that stresses melody and economy.

Stay for: The best name drop of the year, when the narrator comments, “You smoke like a young Belmondo.”

17) Discovery – “Orange Shirt” (from LP)

Come for: The perfect cymbal crashes and pulsing synths that cause me to do a quasi- ironic raise the roof celebratory dance; perfect lust pop for a noontime walk of shame.

Stay for: The infinite (and yet, so finite) meaning of the line, “Sleep on a train to Tokyo/Google yourself when you get home.”

16) Pains of Being Pure at Heart – “Young Adult Friction” (from s/t)

Come for: The ultimate shoe-gazeth John Hughes dance-around-your room-with-your- arms-above-your head-summer driving jam.  Yes, I dance with my hands above my head when I drive in my room.

Stay for: The oh-they-did-not-what-a-bunch-of-nerds-yet-I-love-it wordplay of the outro chant: “Don’t check me out!”

15) Animal Collective – “What I Would Want? Sky” (from Fall Be Kind)

Come for: The amorphous, wordless built of the first three minutes that slowly dissolves into a dwindling piano refrain.

Stay for: A four minute celebration of indecision and confusion, exemplified perfectly in that the song both asks and answers its own question.

14) Fucked Up – “Year of the Rat” (from Year of the Rat)

Come for: The Canadian shoe-gazi punk band’s yearly foray into progressive punk rock that coincides with the Chinese New Year, albeit briefer than usual: last year’s “Year of the Pig” clocked in at 17 minutes.

Stay for: Every single moment of the 11 minutes contained herein: the ambient intro; the deeply panned snare rolls that lead the song into a hazy punk rock groove; the Dicky Barrett-esque bark of lead singer, Pink Eyes screaming the title; the melodic riff that makes the chorus of “you’re a rat!” palatable pop rock; the sixth minute when the song becomes completely unhinged; all the chunky bass and collapsing guitar patterns; the fake out ending that returns for another brief dip into pop punk chaos; the snippet of news show talking heads that ends with G Dubya saying, “you’d better be prepared to pull the trigger.”

13) Japandroids- “Young Hearts Spark Fire” (from Post-Nothing)

Come for: The fuzzy beauty of perfect pop rock and roll that celebrates the end of our lives, the end of the wine and being too drunk to worry about tomorrow.

Stay for: The cathartic shout of a lyricless “woah!” that comes at the end of the song, a perfect release for the pent up romantic longing and self aware mortality .

12) Think About Life- “Havin’ My Baby” (from Family)

Come for: The novelty of a sped up chipmunk soul sample in the context of a non hip- hop track.

Stay for: The unabashedly glee of these Canadian weirdos that combine TV on the Radio vocals with Go! Team pastiche.

11) Raekwon (featuring Method Man, Ghostface, Inspectah Deck)- “House of Flying Daggers” (from Only Built for Cuban Linx Part 2)

Come for: The best Wu-Tang crew cut since Ghostface’s “9 Milli Bros.” that puts Michael Bay and Jerry Bruckheimer on notice: you’ve got the music to the Bad Boys 3 trailer right here.

Stay for: The intensity of the four on-their-grind Wu-Tang emcees:

Inspectah Deck rips the track open when he announces, “I pop off like a mobster boss/Angel hair with the lobster sauce;”

Ghost woos us with his fashion and social skills, “Still got gear in the closet, that’s stupid live/From Benetton rugby skullies, Oshkosh conductor jumpers/The train hats fit me lovely/Rae job is to make sure the coke is fluffy/While I politic his birthday bash with Puffy.”

Method Man closes things up with a lisp-y verse that takes full advantage of his laconic delivery, “Man, ya’ll niggas ain’t shit to us, still a pistol bust/Split your melon like I split the Dutch/Got a lot of piff to puff, and I ain’t come for fisticuffs/Or for the cop that wanna clip the cuffs.”

10) Clipse (featuring Kanye West)- “Kinda Like a Big Deal” (from Until the Casket Drops)

Come for: The Thorton brothers’ everlasting obsession with cocaine and living big (“Is a blessin’ to spend a hundred thou in a recession with no second guessin”) and the super intense wailing noise that is teased throughout each verse before exploding, perfectly countering the dirge-ish beat and speedy rapping.

Stay for: Kanye West’s best verse in a long time.  Which means there is discount store wordplay and hero comparison, “Spittin fire on the PJ in my PJ’s/Fire Marshall said I took it to the Max like TJ/Yea people I said Marshalls we play/I guess I’m like the Black Marshall meets Jay,” before dubbing himself “alligator souffle” and celebrating the backsides of learning disabled women.

9) Atlas Sound (featuring Panda Bear)- “Walkabout” (from Logos)

Come for: One of the rare collaborations (see also, number six below) that lives up to its pedigree.

Stay for: The completely melancholgic chorus of “What did you want to see? What did you want to be when you grew up?”

8) Phoenix- “1901” (from Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix)

Come for: The song that united us all in 2009: the bros, the critics, the hipsters, the indie snobs, the franco-philes, James Franco (presumably), the sorority girls who wore out their Passion Pit mp3s and the ad execs at Cadillac.

Stay for: Every Phoenix pop moment: the urgency of the announcement, “It’s twenty seconds till the last call/You’re going “hey hey hey hey hey hey!” that segues into a stretch of music that sounds exactly what future promise feels like.

Linger around even longer for: The roaring siren, the pledge to be “anything you ask and more,” the ping-pong echo and a frequently misheard song lyric (it’s “fold it!” repeated after the chorus, not “falling!”).

7) Memory Tapes- “Bicycle” (from Seek Magic)

Come for: The wooshing disco beat that fires down shortly after the first minute, giving this tale of a rainy two-wheeled escape a desperate urgency.

Stay for: The complete euphoria of the last two minutes:  heavenly “oohs” and “ahhs” surround rubbery bass and a New Order flanger soaked guitar solo that dissipates, leaving the listener with the same feeling of escape the song’s narrator seeks.

6) Dirty Projectors & David Byrne- “Knotty Pine” (from Dark was the Night compilation)

Come for: The plucky bass, which, coupled with sparkling acoustic guitar and twinkling piano keys set the backdrop for the Dirty Projectors’ most pop song to date.

Stay for: The only unhinged moment of a remarkably tight song: a laser zing guitar line that makes an appearance in the last 30 seconds.

5) Future of the Left- “Arming Eritrea” (from Travels With Myself and Another)

Come for: The chance to yell at the song’s unknown nemesis, a fellow named Rick, that you aren’t a prize, a cynic, a rope, a drunk, a child, or special, but that you DO know your own worth and that he should pull up his socks.  Seriously.

Stay for: The realization that the driving breakdown that starts at 1:46 isn’t the climax of the song at all and that twenty seconds later the drums will triple time and the music will coalesce into swirling, unhinged mayhem.

4) Animal Collective- “Brothersport” (from Merriweather Post Pavillion)

Come for: A frighteningly danceable song that begs to be screeched in three part harmony with your friends when intoxicated.  So I’ve heard.

Stay for: The persistent rave siren that stays rhythmically consistent for the middle of the song just as the drums and keyboards build to something far more intense, which is interrupted by an angelic cry of “Matt!” and a perfect crystalline melody line on an album chock full of perfect crystalline melody lines.

Siblog-Only Stay For: The fact that Animal Collective wrote a barn-burning ode to brotherly love that contains my brother’s name.

3) Japandroids- “Wet Hair” (from Post-Nothing)

Come for: The first two verses: “She had wet hair/Say what you will/I don’t care/I couldn’t resist it” and “These girls are raw, Bikini Kill/We need a ride to bikini island!”

Stay for: The epic third verse: “We own the gauntlet!/Must get to France so we can french kiss some french girls!”

2) Phoenix- “Lisztomania” (from Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix)

Come for: The fact that the backbeat will make your feet involuntarily move as if your lower body was covered in the pink goo from Ghostbusters II.

Stay for: The gleeful ability to sing-along with every completely indecipherable phrase that Thomas Mars’ throws down.  E.g.:

“From a mess to the masses!”

“Duel it, duel it, duel it, juggle it, duel it, duel it!”

“Discuss, discuss, discuss, discourage!”

1) Animal Collective- “In the Flowers” (from Merriweather Post Pavillion)

Come for: The sound of submergence that introduces Animal Collective’s instantly classic album (sorry guy); the incessant hand claps; the hypnotic psuedo-latin guitar; the brief echoed tease of the line “If I could just leave my body for a night.”

Stay for: My favourite musical moment of the year: the massive tonal shift the song takes two and a half minutes in: the monumental tribal drums; the cricket-esque hum; the second electronic beat that sneaks in a few seconds later; the percussion that answers Avey’s every whimsical pledge to his wife; the fact that any piece of music made up of disparate sounds can express the simplest desire to dance with someone you miss so effectively.

But really stay for: the fact that listening to this song on your headphones might make you feel like you are on drugs.  Or in love.  Because really, what’s the difference?

Download 60-41 here.

Download 40-21 here.

Download today’s post, 20-1, here.

Photo Credit: Jezebel

The internet is abuzz with rumors of Jay Reatard’s death. It looks like it may have started at the GONER Message Board. Now BrooklynVegan is running with it.  I’ll try to keep this puppy updated as well.

UPDATED 4:16 EST
Wow, looks like it’s true.

Memphis police have opened a death investigation, spokesman Jennifer Robinson said. Lindsey was found around 3:30 a.m. in his bed, Robinson said.

“Yeah, it’s true,” friend Alicja Trout said. “I don’t know much about it yet, because I haven’t been able to get in touch with the police.”

Added Eric Friedl of Goner Records: “Yeah. He was found at his house. That’s all I know right now.”

Even if you aren’t the biggest fan of his music or his attitude it’s absolutely tragic when anyone under the age of 30 dies. Here’s a video of Jay playing live outside the Sailor Jerry store in Philly.

Click here for part 1!

(Thom’s picks after the cut. Download a .ZIP of all songs here.)

40) Animal Collective- “My Girls” (from Merriweather Post Pavillion)

Come for: The hype. The indescribable, justifiable hype.

Stay for: The big bounce that hits at 2:10 and the exuberant “ohhhh!” that follows the chorus.

39) Washed Out- “Belong” (from High Times cassette)

Come for: The best 80’s melancholy synth balladry since Men At Work.

Stay for: The predictable given its source-but-awesome anyway tape hiss.

38) Fight Like Apes- “Do You Karate?” (from Fight Like Apes And the Mystery of the Golden Medallion)

Come for: The tremendous (to the point of ridiculous) production and execution.

Stay for: Vocalist MayKay’s meditations on the teenage-to-the-max adage that “it’s not what you’re like but you like” that manifests itself through the chorus of “He doesn’t even know you like stars! And you hate frogs! But you love stars!”

37) Superchunk- “Learned to Surf” (from Leaves in the Gutter EP)

Come for: The goosebump inducing dual one string guitar leads panned to the extreme left and right that simultaneously rocks me and breaks my heart.

Stay for: The slept-on awesomeness of indie rock’s buried treasure, a fact that might be is seeping into their music, like when singer/guitarist Mac McCaughan admits, “When I learned to walk, humans roamed the earth.”

36) Vampire Weekend- “Horchata” (from Contra)

Come for: The return of the Upper West Side’s hyper-literate, hyper-melodic, hyper-hyphenated quartet.

Stay for: The wink-and-nod pretentious rhyme scheme that singer/guitarist Ezra Koenig plays with throughout the song: horchata/balaclava/aranciata/masada.

35) Real Estate- “Beach Comber” (from Real Estate)

Come for: The hazy, sun-splashed guitar tones and simple, winding leads.

Stay for: The realization that after listening to the song a dozen times you will only know the gluey melodies and barely any of the lyrics.

34) Jay- Z (featuring Alicia Keys)- “Empire State of Mind” (from Blueprint III)

Come for: Jay’s return to form as an emcee.  No, I’m kidding, his verses are  pretty embarrassing (MDMA got you feeling like a champion/the city never sleeps better slip you a Ambien).  When was the last time Jay did MDMA?   Pssssh.

Stay for: The glorious, overwhelmingly catchy hook delivered with force by Miss  Alicia Keys, though, technically the lyrics don’t make any sense.  Who’s inspired by the lights of New York? And what about the streets of New York will make me feel brand new? Who says I want to feel brand new?

33) Fool’s Gold- “Surprise Hotel” (from Fool’s Gold)

Come for: The immediately evident rubbery guitar hook that wiggles through the  entirety of the song.

Stay for: The joyous double-time coda and off-the-cuff ad-libbing by vocalist Luke Top.

32) Pains of Being Pure at Heart- “Higher Than the Stars” (from Higher Than the Stars)

Come for: The Johnny Marr on crack intro that fades into POBPAH’s Jesus and  Mary Chain on pop-rocks loveliness.

Stay for: The gorgeous second half of the song, where the melody deceptively  hides the fact that the lesson learned here is “you can’t think straight, because  you’re not straight/in the back of her mother’s car.”

31) Phoenix- “Countdown” (from Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix)

Come for: The consistent, almost metronomic cymbal splashes, the energetic part  where vocalist Thomas Mars bursts, “better than it looks!” and the fact that he  interchanges “true and everlasting” and “cruel and everlasting” throughout the song. Also, the phrase “sick for the big sun” is pretty mint, brah.

Stay for: “Do you remember when 21 years was oooooooooooooold?”

30) Harlem Shakes- “Winter Water” (from Technicolor Health)

Come for: The psychedelic organ that dissipates into handclaps and the herky  jerky saxophone peppered second verse.

Stay for: The crashing, spine tingling and sweet “ooooooo’s” that back up the chorus’ conflicting sentiments: “if we are leaving, we’re leaving together” and “if we  are sleeping, we’re sleeping together.”

29) Neon Indian- “Deadbeat Summer” (from Psychic Chasms)

Come for: Glo-fi’s most strut-worthy amalgam of candy colored keyboard  sounds and psychedelic vocal coos.

Stay for: The proud proclamation that “it’s just a deadbeat summer.”

28) Dirty Projectors- “Useful Chamber” (from Bitte Orca)

Come for: Dave Longstretch wailing, “whale please/please whale” in German.

Stay for: The pitch shifting goodness of the who-knows-how-many-part-wordless melody that comes between verses.

27) Bear in Heaven- “Lovesick Teenagers” (from Beast Rest Forth Mouth)

Come for: The pulsing keyboard/drum verse that makes way for the huge prog  pop chorus.

Stay for: The tension and drama that inches up as the song goes on.

26) St. Vincent- “Actor Out of Work” (from Actor)

Come for: That beautiful, exhausted, sensual and audible breath that comes  before the song starts.

Stay for: The frenzy this songs works up to with Annie Clark deciding, “I  think I  love you/I think I’m mad!” followed by a righteous cacophony.

25) The Very Best (featuring Ezra Koenig)- “Warm Heart of Africa” (from Warm Heart of Africa)

Come for: The familiar high pitched strain of Ezra Koenig’s voice over some  sweet and dusty afro-beats.

Stay for: The hot-as-a-pool-desk voice of TVB’s Esau Mwamwaya and  appropriate-for-a-pool-desk music.

24) Phoenix- “Rome” (from Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix)

Come for: The best double meaning word repeat since Malkmus’ “Korea!  Career!”

Stay for: The moment the more-textured-than-it-needs-to-be synth cracks the song wide open, simultaneously packing an emotional wallop and sticking a big middle finger up to every rock band that misused a keyboard.

Bonus Stay For: The very end of the song where my “Come For” moment and “Stay For” moment are combined in an over the top pop crescendo and ends in  Thomas Mars’ bumbling the “What could I Say?” part from earlier in the song (most of my Phoenix blurbs will resemble outtakes from the Chris Farley  show.)

23) Camera Obscura- “French Navy” (from My Maudlin Career)

Come for: The most upbeat and show stopping song on an album full of string  orchestra flourished dirges, by a band that by its 7^th album should have taken a  cue from fellow hot nerds Belle and Sebastian and gone pop by now.

Stay for: The sheer bliss of singing along to Gossip Girl type quotables such as “I’ll be criticized for lending out my art/I was criticized for letting you break my  heart/Why would I stand for disappointed looks/Fooling all but I’m on tender  hooks.”

22) Health- “Die Slow” (from Get Color)

Come for: The world’s first ever music nod to Stabbing Westward, 90’s  recording artists most famous for being featured on the Crow Official Motion  Picture Soundtrack.

Stay for: The sound of metal being shredded used rhythmically to make you feel  both tough and dancey, like the thugs in Michael Jackson’s “Bad” video (which I  just found out was directed by Martin Scorcese, what the what?)

21) Memory Cassette- “Surfin’” (from Call and Response EP)

Come for: The sexy woman’s voice that is actually a man’s voice that opens the  song, asking “Do you love the ocean?”

Stay for: The second half of the song that conveys the conflicting emotions of  joy, wistfulness and regret into one sick melody, brah.

A few things: I worked way harder on this list of songs than was necessary and a lot harder than I did the opening paragraph. The fact that there are so many lists didn’t really stop me from making another list, nor did it encourage me to make mine shorter. I do really hope you enjoy reading my list and feel free to argue/agree/disagree with any of the choices. But don’t argue about Grizzly Bear, because you will lose. If you argue with me about Grizzly Bear I will take your contact information and call you in ten years and it will be embarrassing because you will have long forgotten them and also because I will have followed through on something you thought was a joke on the internet from ten years ago. So let’s all spare each other that mortifying experience and admit they have three great songs if we’re meeting them halfway! Great!

(Songs downloadable in .ZIP format here.)

60) Grizzly Bear- “Two Weeks” (from Veckatimest)

Come for: The hype. The ridiculous, unjustifiable hype.

Stay for: The only Grizzly Bear song that won’t have you waiting/wondering when the song is going to get started.

59) Islands- “Vapours” (from Vapours)

Come for: Your periodic check in with the guy from the Unicorns. You remember them, right?

Stay for: The sparse, crystal clean production and Thin Lizzy-esque bounce; their best song in years.

58) Bibio- “Lovers’ Carvings” (from Ambivalence Avenue)

Come for: The perfect summer mixtape interlude song, a description that fits most of the songs on Ambivalence Avenue!

Stay for: The warm-as-a-car-trunk-during-summer production and simplistically sing song outro.

57) Obits- “Widow of My Dreams” (from I Blame You)

Come for: The bad- ass Tom Petty gone metal intro.

Stay for: The chorus. It’s exactly what you think it’ll be.

56) Fuck Buttons- “Surf Solar” (from Tarot Sport)

Come for: The noise, textures and crescendo building you’ve come to love and expect of (a band that would call themselves) Fuck Buttons.

Stay for: Now with techno beats and cinematic passages to entertain you during seizures!

55) Cold Cave- “Love Comes Close” (from Love Comes Close)

Come for: A clear musical homage to early New Order!

Stay for: A clear lyrical/vocal homage to Joy Division!

54) Bon Iver- “Blood Bank” (from Blood Bank)

Come for: The not-as-great-as- For Emma – but-still-damn-good winter pop that Justin Vernon is revered for.

Stay for: All the things that make Bon Iver the best singer/songwriter in the biz: the soft strumming, the relentless melancholy punctured by moments of melodic hope and his otherworldly voice. Also, his first ever cuss in-song.

53) Washed Out- “You’ll See It” (from Life of Leisure)

Come for: A dance song that intentionally sounds like music coming from a neighbor’s party down the hall.

Stay for: A rare example of a song both drenched in nostalgia and futurism. Also: boogie!

52) Javelin- “Vibrationz” (from Jamz n Jemz)

Come for: The sunny 80’s synth R&B pastiche that Javelin excels at.

Stay for: The audacious catchiness of repeating the same word for two gleeful minutes.

51) Doom- “Gazzillion Ear” (from Born Like This)

Come for: The classic Dilla alarm that sounds as the song kicks off.

Stay for: The dark middle section that has DOOM commenting that wearing a mask is like being on the Gong Show.

50) YACHT- “Psychic City” (from See Mystery Lights)

Come for: A song so exuberant that I don’t doubt the narrator’s credibility when she tells me she has made me a birthday cake.

Stay for: A song so optimistic that it will inevitably be featured over the credits of an episode of Entourage after E calls “his boy” Vince and convinces him to do another soul sucking project to appease Ari.

49) jj- “Masterplan” (from jj n° 2)

Come for: A guitar riff that tips its hat to the theme from Top Gun while dreamy vocals coo/warn you to fear her masterplan.

Stay for: The out-of-left-field clip from this viral video.

48) The Thermals- “I Let It Go” (from Now We Can See)

Come for: the reliable/taken for granted punk rock that the Thermals provide on a bi- yearly basis.

Stay for: The triumphant “woo!” after Hutch Harris belts out “Four on the Floor! Two in the air! Out of the sand, out of the sky! Into the flow!”

47) The Flaming Lips- “The Sparrow Looks Up At the Machine” (from Embryonic)

Come for: The thick, bass heavy dread that creeps up like a rash and infests nearly all of the surprise LP of the year, Embryonic.

Stay for: The oh-shit-they-did-not moment where the song sounds like someone made a phone call next to your stereo speakers causing static interference.

46) Akron/Family- “Everyone is Guilty” (from Set ‘em Wild, Set ‘em Free)

Come for: The slippery coke bottle tapping intro and the now to be expected vocal chanting.

Stay for: The unexpected prog-guitar riffage, off-tune horns, and strings that encompass the second side of this mini-epic.

45) Neko Case- “This Tornado Loves You” (from Middle Cyclone)

Come for: The most confident female vocalist in the indie rock game singing a song that begs to be mashed up with footage from the movie Twister. Someone get on it!

Stay for: Neko’s bold declaration, “My love, I am the speed of sound/I left that motherless, fatherless/Their souls dangling inside-out from their mouths but it’s never enough.”

44) Yeasayer- “Ambling Alp” (from Odd Blood)/”Ambling Alp (Memory Tapes remix)”

Come for: The water drippy, blippy, squishy mutant pop single that will appear on 2010’s Odd Blood.

Stay for: The pitch perfect Memory Tapes remix, which takes the chorus of the original and stretches it into a total space pop disco jam that unlike most remixes, is just as vital and exciting as the source material.

[Paul also wrote about "Ambling Alp" over at StereoSubversion.]

43) Sunset Rubdown- “You Go On Ahead (Trumpet Trumpet II)” (from Dragonslayer)

Come for: The frighteningly consistent dementia pop of wunderkid Spencer Krug that has him and the boys killing butterflies and eating them.

Stay for: The halfway mark where the guitar and keyboard play off each other, Krug wails “you’ve got to wait for me” a few times before the song turns into a proto-punk song with female back-up vocals and mediations on the passing of time.

42) Future of the Left- “Throwing Bricks at Trains” (from Travels With Myself and Another)

Come for: Proper-noun laden sing along punk rock from former Mclusky songwriter Andy Falkous with enough back-up vocals to satiate even the Situation’s fist- pumping desires.

Stay for: The bubbling synth that lingers under the snarling outro in which the song’s narrator admits, “Reginald, I cannot love you/I cannot love a man who cannot learn to love himself.”

41) Dirty Projectors- “Stillness is the Move” (from Bitte Orca)

Come for: The oft mentioned by still outstanding r & b inflected harmonies and afro-inflected guitar trills.

Stay for: The oft overlooked but still mesmerizing strings that close the song out.

(Check back Wednesday for part 2: 40-21)

For me 2009 was 365 days of trying something new. It was about taking a lot of recommendations, having an open mind and, ultimately, listening to a lot of radio. Rock radio may be dead but in NY no one gives a shit because Jay-Z came out with a new record. You couldn’t walk the streets of Brooklyn this year without hearing at least one single from Hov blaring from speakers that cost more than the car they’re sitting in. Not a day went by where a remix featuring Kanye, Drake, or Weezy couldn’t be heard. And most importantly: I don’t remember one trip in my girlfriend’s car this year where we didn’t at least casually check up on Funkmaster Flex.

It started out as an exercise in understanding: just what is happening in the rap world, and why should I care? Certainly I knew the basics– I knew, for example, I should probably listen to the new Joe Budden, the new Jay-Z, the new Raekwon– but I haven’t seriously listened to any new rap music in about five years and had no real interest to do so. My girlfriend, to her credit, seemed to get it. When she first turned me on to Drake’s “Best I Ever Had” I was admittedly skeptical but eventually fell in love with it in a completely unironic way. And with good reason: that Drake mixtape ended up being one of the strongest records to come out this year, and while it might not be as life-changing as I initially thought (the songs don’t make a whole lot of sense) it’s strong enough from start to finish to warrant all the hype.

But that’s not the stuff I want to talk about right now. You can read what I think about Only Built 4 Cuban Linx… Pt. II when I write about it for our Best Records of the Year list, I promise. It’s the other songs I’m more interested in, the ones that played fifty times a day because of sheer mass appeal. The songs that aren’t breaking any boundaries, that aren’t changing the game; the songs that have no real artistic credibility, and whose only real merit is that they’re catchy as hell.

These are my top ten Hot 97 guilty pleasures.

10. “I Invented Sex” (Trey Songz feat. Drake)

2009 was a pretty huge year for Drake. The former Degrassi star officially became a member of Lil’ Wayne’s Young Money Entertainment, dropped a self-released mixtape that put him on the map, was nominated for every award under the sun (including two 2010 Grammys) and has worked with every big name artist in the game. This song, off of Trey Songz’ third album Ready, is particularly ridiculous (as if you couldn’t tell from the title.)

9. Ego (Beyoncé feat. Kanye West)

I think the main reason I like this song, a remix off of Beyoncé’s I Am… Sasha Fierce, is the same reason why it’s so obnoxious. The original version is fine– a decent track on a fairly good album– but it’s Kanye’s embarrassing intro that sells it for me. A man with the largest ego in the world is singing about his ego… by comparing his ego to his dick.

8 . Knock You Down (Keri Hilson feat. Kanye West and Ne-Yo)

When he isn’t acting like a parody of himself Kanye West is appearing as a guest on every single track in the world. Here he is playing boyfriend to Keri Hilson in the “Knock You Down” video (sorry about the weird advertisement in the beginning.) He spouts off lines like “This is bad, real bad, Michael Jackson/ Now I’m mad, real mad, Joe Jackson” which is embarrassing enough without him inexplicably dropping an “OMG” somewhere in there. However it’s Ne-Yo who takes the cake for corny lyrics, singing “I used to be commander-in-chief of my pimp ship flyin’ high/ before some pretty little missile knocked me out of the sky” with such earnestness it makes me laugh every single time I hear it.

7. I’m So Paid (Akon feat. Lil Wayne and Young Jeezy)

There is no part of this song that isn’t auto-tuned.

6. Dead and Gone (T.I. feat. Justin Timberlake)

Now this song is a guilty pleasure for completely different reasons. It’s not that I find this song funny and catchy (although I do and it is) it’s that I really feel it. The emotion! T.I. lost a friend! And he wants Justin Timberlake to sing about it! And Justin Timberlake says “homies”? Okay! I’m fine with that, I really am. Alright that’s a lie, I’m not fine with any of it, but I won’t apologize for my feelings. You do you, T.I. You do you.

5. Blame It (Jamie Foxx feat. T-Pain)

Ron Howard, Forest Whitaker, Jake Gyllenhaal, Samuel L. Jackson, Quincy Jones, Cedric the Entertainer, Mos Def, Tatyana Ali… fucking, BILL BELLAMY is in this video. Where the hell has Bill Bellamy been? Sitting around waiting for a sequel to Love Jones? This entire video, like the song that accompanies it, is just an ode to the fucked up party lifestyle Jamie Foxx leads, where he can just bang any woman he comes across and write songs about it.

4. Throw it in the Bag (Fabolous feat. the Dream)

Ah, now here we go. The meat of the list. Don’t get me wrong I like a good R&B jam as much as the next guy but this is what I had in mind when I thought of this list. The gist behind the track is that Fabolous has so much money that he will just walk into a store with a woman and not even worry about price. Are you kidding? This is Fabolous, what does he care about a price tag? Just throw it in the bag, maybe put it in a nice box with a  bow or something. Something nice. I mean he doesn’t care about price but he probably cares about appearances, you know? Frankly if Fabolous is shopping in your store you should probably thank the gods, and then go out of your way to make him happy. So yeah, maybe a bow, or some gold flakes or something. Also, I love the end of the song, where they just say “Everybody do the Throw it in the Bag”, like it’s some kind of fifties dance craze that all the kids are doing. “The Twist” this is not, my friend.

3. Who’s Real? (Jadakiss feat. Swizz Beatz and OJ Da Juiceman)

“He’s phony, she’s fake! That’s the type of people I hate!”

Listen. I know Jadakiss. Jadakiss is a friend of mine. And you, sir, are no Jadakiss. Seriously, what the hell happened here? Jadakiss went from being raw as all hell to churning out a song with the chorus “If you’re real and you know it clap your hands!” Don’t get me wrong, even a poppy Jadakiss is better than, say, The Blueprint III (we trusted you, Jay!) but the change is more than just a little jarring. Still, I’m definitely spinning this track at New Years and I don’t care who knows it.

2. Every Girl (Young Money)
(video here)

You might be asking why this isn’t number one. It seemingly has it all: Lil Wayne, Drake, a ridiculous premise about fucking every woman in the world including retarded women. Yes, “Every Girl” was definitely a top contender. Even the video is batshit crazy, with all of this weird animation jumping in and out. But there’s really only one song dumb enough and catchy enough to be my number one Hot 97 guilty pleasure of the year…

1. Million Bucks (Maino feat. Swizz Beatz)

Another song on this list about a guy who has so much money he doesn’t know what the fuck to do with it. What makes this song especially dumb, though, is that while it’s possible that Jamie Foxx or Fabolous can just waste money there is absolutely no conceivable way someone like Maino could ever part with a million bucks and just be fine with it. Hell, I think he’s probably sweating the “brand new truck” part. But regardless of the stupidity behind the song’s main theme this is an absolutely, 100%, no doubt about it party jam. Click the link above to let the song speak for itself (the first thirty seconds are added filler for the video and not indicative of the single version) and try not to let your head bounce. BET YOU CAN’T EAT JUST ONE.

Layered beneath the flurry of articles bemoaning the death of print journalism, one aspect not regularly mentioned (perhaps not to seem even more cloying) is the somnambulant status of the critic. The professional critic’s stature, maligned as elitist or outright ignored, had diminished long before the onset of the current crisis facing newspapers and magazines. This argument is consistently paraded out during award seasons, when numerous discrepancies arise between the highest grossing and widely praised. As this dynamic steadily played itself out, year after year, mainstream publications have been neutered and marginalized while non-traditional outlets filled the void until the Internet gave everyone with an opinion and a caps lock button a voice.

Founded in 1995, Pitchfork Media gained a significant amount of influence around 2002-2003, when the indie rock leviathan began wielding a power and influence music writers of this generation were previously unaccustomed. The narrative that follows is common knowledge: the site was suddenly in the position to launch careers (most prominently with Canucks Broken Social Scene and Arcade Fire) and stymie the efforts of others (the district’s very own Travis Morrison received a much ballyhooed 0.0 for Travistan). In between those extremes, Pitchfork has been able to transform tours by fledgling or previously unknown local bands into national events by bestowing its “Best New Music” label. This process, transpiring on a considerably smaller stage and with a brisker pace than previous reference points (Rolling Stone, et al.), heralded the establishment of a new critical governing body whose opinion had a substantial impact on its readership, linking positive coverage with album sales and artist popularity.

Pitchfork became a dominant force within independent music (er, rock music?) partly because its ascendancy came as traditional music-centric outlets are looked upon as non-assuming, beholden to its advertisers, and in the most severe cases, simply irrelevant. Along with its serendipitous timing, the site now cannily combines the most attractive aspects of new and old coverage, combining daily news updates (25% usually involving Radiohead) and a static database of record reviews, interviews, and features. Yet, unlike the majority of its web contemporaries, Pitchfork operates within a decidedly non-user friendly platform, with no section on the site facilitating a dialogue with its audience. Playing by familiar rules, Pitchfork reaffirms its clout and critical authority by keeping its dialogue and opinions one-dimensional.

All of which brings us to this year’s P2K extravaganza. Pitchfork is not the first entity to formulate authoritative lists to commemorate a specific year or decade’s music or even for its current ubiquity. Yet its tastemaker status once again positioned itself at a curious time, a period in which incessant cataloging and list making as mirroring one’s own self-image or attainment of cultural currency is particularly en vogue (thanks, Nick Hornby and Chuck Klostermann!). The most dispiriting manifestation was last year’s excursion into coffee table publications The Pitchfork 500, the site’s bid at print-based respectability (look ma, you can hold this in your hands!) with a boomer-like affinity for incessant cataloging and conventional, genre-segregated selections.

With previous retrograde lists, Pitchfork were afforded the comfortable distance of post-hoc analysis and one that falls largely outside of their experiential scope as critics. Thus, the site’s best of ’00s list has an interesting heft: not only is it the only decade in which Pitchfork was active throughout but also the first in which the site has exerted influence as a critical entity. A cursory glance at the very peak of its top album list a mix of obvious consensus (Radiohead, Jay-Z, Outkast) and bands it is arguably be responsible for breaking (Animal Collective, The Hold Steady), falling into a curious self-fulfilling prophecy: the best music has taken the shape of the site’s biggest success stories. Sifting through the list, it is striking how many things Pitchfork believes it got right over the past decade. Chicago Sun Times writer Jim DeRogatis explored similar terrain unpacking the sticky details of Pitchfork’s journalistic objectivity in light of its expansion into music festivals and Internet television. Is a band’s association with these ventures a sign of approval or is it a question of business? And in the case of P2K, how does one separate Pitchfork’s objective analysis from the canonization of its own taste?

Above all else, P2K’s overwhelmingly comprehensive coverage’s greatest sin was the fact that reading it felt like a chore. Its humorless lists were intolerably lengthy and managed to absolve the exercise of its raison d’être: distinction. P2K acknowledged 500 songs, 50 music videos and 200 albums as the best. Even within the perspective of the ‘everybody wins’ culture in which I was raised, that is still 750 noteworthy selections. In its effort to be all-encompassing, or more importantly, definitive, the list’s inclusiveness reads like an affront to both the audience and artists. Would either agree or care about the ranking of the decade’s 278th best song? Most of the fun of participating in the exercise is the ensuing conversations (i.e. bickering) about overlooked and undervalued favorites. By covering all of its bases, P2K took pains to avoid any disagreement, concluding with an anticlimactic top ten that anyone with a cursory knowledge of the site could have predicted.

The past ten years has seen a terrifyingly rapid influx of bands and albums, and Pitchfork has maintained, for the most part, its status as a reliable barometer of quality within a certain cross-section of music. I readily offer that I myself read the site every day. That it engages within the geeky infrastructure of procedural year-end features is of no relevance to its overall value as a resource. The disappointment stems from its continued resistance to use its singular position to break from of the doldrums of music criticism that the site initially helped to shake up. Whether you enjoy or despise its content, Pitchfork’s ubiquitous authority is on track to shape the musical landscape of the next ten years. Let’s hope that the passage of time helps them to recognize the wisdom in brevity and the pitfalls of solipsism.

WHAT THE FUCK, INTERNET?

And here it is, the twelfth post in our Twelve Days of Christmas at AVERSE (we’re taking tomorrow off, obviously.) There was a lot of thought over what song I would put here for the twelfth day. But you know what? A list without the Jackson 5′s “Santa Claus is Coming to Town” and Mariah Carey’s “All I Want for Christmas Is You” is not a very good list at all, is it? And who says I can only post one song? I’ll post as many songs as I want. And you know what else? I’m also going to add the Bruce Springsteen version of “Santa Claus is Coming to Town”, because Thom requested it. That’s right, three songs. IT’S A CHRISTMAS MIRACLE!*

*”Miracle” being sort of a relative term, since all I’m really doing is posting links to videos that are readily available on YouTube.

(I love the absolutely retarded graphics some people set to music on YouTube. Really enhances the song, thanks guy!)

(Watch for the appearance by Matt Dillon.)